While reading the morning Sh'ma this Shabbat I became distinctly aware that I was not wearing my tefillin because it was Shabbat. It's not something I ever questioned, I always just assumed that it was because there might be a threat of a malacha. I just looked it up, and according to Chabad that isn't at all why we don't wrap tefillin on Shabbat. The reasoning they give is interesting because it isn't too off from what I was actually thinking during Shabbat.
When we wrap tefillin it's supposed to be a happy event so long as you're not cutting off circulation. We do it to remind ourselves to love and serve Hashem. It reminds us that it was Hashem that redeemed us from Egypt, and who rewards us (and punishes but we'll ignore that for the purpose of this post). We wear the tefillin on our head and our hand, pointing to our hearts, to unify our thoughts and actions with our desire to serve Hashem. I think on this as I wrap and as I read through the Sh'ma, on what an honor and a joy that Hashem has given us this Mitzvah. And, this all comes from a simplified view of the tefillin without looking at commentaries and other ideas. It's already almost overwhelmingly beautiful. So on Shabbat, that little taste of perfection, of a messianic time period while I was reading the Sh'ma I had to ask why I wasn't wearing my tefillin.
A light-bulb popped up right then. When I wear tefillin it's to remind of how wondrous Hashem is, and how magnificent Hashem has treated the Jewish people. On Shabbat, our minds are meant to be directed away from the mundane toward the holy, and so we don't need to be reminded because observing Shabbat is essentially having our entire selves being wrapped in a metaphysical tefillin. It's a beautiful concept, even if not completely true throughout Shabbat, and I think it goes along perfectly well with the Chabad interpretation I later found.
So, I was content, even excited, for about a paragraph after realizing this. Then... I found myself reading about tzitzit, and I was wearing mine. Why, if Shabbat is so holy that we are enveloped by our love with Hashem, do we then need to wear tzitzit. The answer is right there in the paragraph, tzitzit aren't there to bring up any emotions, except maybe guilt. We wear tzitzit not to remind ourselves to love Hashem, or vice-versa, we wear tzitzit to remind ourselves not to sin to not do bad things and to stay on the path. While we may think that being in a higher spiritual state on Shabbat would prevent us from being bad, we all know this isn't true. In order for us to enter that higher spiritual state of Shabbat, or on a grander scheme in the World to Come, we must buttress ourselves from falling to our desires. Hashem, or the Rabbis who decided no tefillin on Shabbat, are trying to actually teaching us something very important. Even when you think you're at your most holiest, even if your completely enveloped in Hashem's love, you can do wrong you can fall. We see this with the characters of the Torah, even King David, Hashem's anointed one, full of wisdom and piety fell victim to his desires.
I'm reminded of the Hassidic tale of the two pieces of paper, one that says "You are created from dust," and the other, "For your sake was the world created.". When you start to feel a little too proud, a little egotistical look down at those strings and remember, "Even I make mistakes", and when the opposite happens, when you feel hopelessness or worthless pick up those strings and think to yourself, "Even King David made mistakes.". We place tefillin on weekday morning to add holiness to our mundane daily lives and to give ourselves a fresh start each morning, and each day we wear the tzitzit to help keep us in balance with that holiness throughout the rest of the day.
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